I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
