I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
