he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I would fuck him just for his dog
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
