I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
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