its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
