The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
