You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
a bad idea.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
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Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I didn't notice because vodka
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Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia