I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
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I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
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When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!