the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.