Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(408): View more from California

My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable

(818): View more from California

Freshman in high school? Just your type

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(408): My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable (818): Freshman in high school? Just your type http://tfl.nu/e4aq

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(813): View more from Florida

Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad

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(813): Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad http://tfl.nu/80vf

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"

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(401): I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes" http://tfl.nu/jvdp

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(563): View more from Iowa

He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.

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(563): He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO. http://tfl.nu/g898

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(256): View more from Alabama

We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.

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(256): We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life. http://tfl.nu/312f

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(678): View more from Georgia

So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving

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(678): So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving http://tfl.nu/h9li

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(908): View more from New Jersey

when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.

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(908): when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave. http://tfl.nu/35vg

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(231): View more from Michigan

Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"

(231): View more from Michigan

OMG its one we used last night

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(231): Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing" (231): OMG its one we used last night http://tfl.nu/jpyf

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(732): View more from New Jersey

This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.

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(732): This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together. http://tfl.nu/028o

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(850): View more from Florida

I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok

(850): View more from Florida

They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good

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(850): I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok (850): They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good http://tfl.nu/qtm7

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(305): View more from Florida

and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him

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(305): and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him http://tfl.nu/st8n

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(828): View more from North Carolina

last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.

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(828): last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew. http://tfl.nu/yza6

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(859): View more from Kentucky

you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.

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(859): you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so. http://tfl.nu/9261

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(970): View more from Colorado

You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.

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(970): You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan. http://tfl.nu/do61

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(512): View more from Texas

Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.

(512): View more from Texas

I found Cheetos.

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(512): Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life. (512): I found Cheetos. http://tfl.nu/4vfh

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