The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize