It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
