I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize