If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
