The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
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