i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
only if we run a train.
done.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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