can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
