I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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