who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
It's shark week go big or go home
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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