So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize