Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
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