I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
