I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I think this conversation is over.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.