It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
