ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?