You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
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Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
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We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?