i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.