Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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