I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
