Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize