You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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