the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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