I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
not ubering you a puppy
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
