last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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