let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
No subtext here. People are naked.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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