So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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