If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Randomize
