just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
he fucked my hip out of place.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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