I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
