Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
