Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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