Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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