woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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