she was so not down for the gang bang
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
