just survived the first fart of the relationship.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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