the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
