you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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