How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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