Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
