i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
