so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
