I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
