I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
