i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
