The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
