We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
