I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize
