she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
