Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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