just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
