dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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