Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
