how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
this hospital has no fireball
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
