using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize