just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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