what day is it and did you see me today?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
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