i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
